Patryk Grądys từ San Antonio Suchitepéquez, Guatemala

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11/21/2024

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Patryk Grądys Sách lại (11)

2019-10-23 11:30

Trí Tưởng Tượng Mở Con Đường (Tái Bản 2017) Thư viện Sách hướng dẫn

Sách được viết bởi Bởi:

There's a strange dynamic at play in Peter Post's Essential Manners for Men. On the one hand, Post regularly calls on his readers to follow the essential manners. However, in this postmodern, globalized age, is anything "essential?" Perhaps not, but Post maintains that we should be considerate by remaining aware of social guidelines for behavior. Still, I found it problematic that Post calls on us to be considerate, not because it's right, but rather because it can cost us if we are not. Isn't it crass to apply the logic of the marketplace to manners? Post points out that if we break the rules in front of our clients, they are free to "take their business elsewhere, for whatever reason" -- including bad manners. I imagine this argument is stated at greater length in Post's other book, The Etiquette Advantage in Business. This argument becomes more troublesome when Post begins to discuss male-female relationships. Though not directly stated, Post regularly organizes his call to action around the notion that women are free to "take their business elsewhere, for whatever reason." And you can bet that includes bad manners. It seems like bad manners to outline relationships using business analogies, though I'll admit that I'm not an expert. Crass or not, I wonder how important -- and how uniform -- etiquette really is to women. For one thing, it's clear that the majority of the complaints Post shares come from women that live with their partner. I think it's fair to say that "business," to use the parlance of Post's book, is being transacted. At best, what Post's complaints reveal is the way that we tend to focus on the negative. We tend to nitpick our partners for their faults rather than commending them for their achievements. Is that impolite? Post regularly relies on the notion that men have poor etiquette and women tend to be better, and more traditionally, mannered. I'm not saying this isn't true. It may well be true. Still, the pictures at the start of every chapter hearken back to the Jazz Age, suggesting that those were the days when men were "men," which also implies that those were the days when women were "women." I found myself wondering whether women are today generally better mannered than their male counterparts. Perhaps it is the gentleman's responsibility to argue that women are better mannered. To make his arguments, Post relies on a poll conducted by the Emily Post Institute, and he often shares his "shocking" results. However, I couldn't help recalling Homer Simpson's famous claim that "statistics can be used to prove anything. 14% of people know that," particularly when I came across Post's argument that we (men) should modify our behavior because "one in seven women" disapprove of X and Y. Is one in seven really a persuasive statistic, or does it just sound like it should be? At other times, Post is on firmer ground, citing an 88% disapproval rating on this or that, but few of these results come as surprises. Don't we already read enough articles about putting down the toilet seat (and other mundane pet peeves) in the "Life" section of the newspaper? Finally, Post's comments on public displays of affection had me laughing out loud. In a world of "sexting," Post worries about people kissing in public -- anything beyond a public peck is too much. Of course, "more than a peck" might be acceptable in Europe, Post suggests, where apparently "anything" goes -- especially in Italy and France. So why bother reading Essential Manners for Men? After all, aren't the people most in need of a book on etiquette the ones that are least likely to read it? We are human beings and we make mistakes everyday. Certainly I do. So I'm always happy to return to the rule book, even if Essential Manners for Men wasn't the most impressive set of rules I've encountered. Nevertheless, I wish I'd read this book, or perhaps a book like this but that doesn't ground its principles in cost/ benefits analysis, when I was 13, rather than in my late 20s.

Người đọc Patryk Grądys từ San Antonio Suchitepéquez, Guatemala

Người dùng coi những cuốn sách này là thú vị nhất trong năm 2017-2018, ban biên tập của cổng thông tin "Thư viện Sách hướng dẫn" khuyến cáo rằng tất cả các độc giả sẽ làm quen với văn học này.