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Josh Mccullough _oshmccullough — The story of Hansel and Gretel has always ticked me off. Two fat German kids roaming through the forest snacking on bread and leaving a trail so they can find their way back home to stuff their little piggy faces with more food but little do they know that Mommy and Daddy don't want them cuz they can't afford to feed them. Or at least... that's the one I always tell ;) And then they find this candy house and start chow dowing on it and licking all the doorknobs and royally ticking off this witchy woman that she decides to totally trap them and eat them before they mistake her for a chocolate bar and wind up eating her. And while the witch is totally doing her patriotic duty to rid the world of these cavity kids this hunter dude comes along and calls her a child abuser and then murders her while throwing her into the fire thus saving the kids... and then realizing "OH SNAP! Now I have to feed these kids." And I assume they eat him cuz he tastes like a Ranger Cookie or something. WOAH! That would make Hansel and Gretel like cannibals or something. COOL! Butters.... In this book we have a slightly different retelling of Hansel and Gretel... more modern and less people eating ;) The names have been changed so instead of Hansel we have ANSEL and instead of Gretel we have... GRETA!! No... that would have been cool right? I was hoping for it. No, instead of Gretel we have GRETCHEN. Gretchen and Ansel are pretty much orphaned. Mommy is dead and Dad just died and their evil step-mom threw them out of the house because Gretel just became legal and she was probably sick of buying them hot chocolate packets or something. But just like every fairy-tale the step mom was an uber meany and she was like "GO AWAY" so they left. They start out in Washington State hanging out with sparkly vampires... or so I like to believe... because everyone who lives in Washington State hangs out with sparkly vampire, right? Wait! Don't tell me! I want to believe that!! And they road trip it over to South Carolina where their car breaks down in this dried up little town that totally hates strangers but are more than happy to send the two kiddies over to this candy shop lady's house to do odd jobs and earn some cash to fix their car, buy them some candy cigarettes, and lead them on their way ;) Or so I want to believe. Gretel is a total outcast because she has rainbow hair and her bro Ansel is one hot looker and the Candy Store lady, Sophia, soon swoons over him. But there's something fishy going on in town.... and there's something even odder happening over at the candy shop. Why is it in the middle of nowhere? Why is Sophia so gung ho about keeping the kids in the house till after she throws the big Chocolate festival? Why is the whole town against her? Is their truth in their words? Or is their a secret they are all trying to hide? Greta's Thoughts: Were you totally entertained by this book? Well, there were some slow spots but once you get to the last 100 pages you'll eat that up as fast as you can. It was most awesome. How did you feel about the characters? I was just happy that they weren't overweight German kids. Are you trying to say you got picked on a lot because of this fairytale? Like uber yeahs!! So, I'm quite picky with retellings of this because you know... as a Greta I have to be. But there isn't a Greta in Hansel and Gretel. Ummm...... and your point is? Did you dig the plot? To a point. I think there were parts that could have been chopped out because I always think fairytales should be short but I really enjoyed where the book wound up at. Was there any romance? Not much. A teeny tiny bit. This is the second book in the series. Is it ok to read them out of order? Yes it is because I have yet to read SISTERS RED and I wasn't confused at all. Who do you think would enjoy this book the most? I would say girls. I'm not sure if a boy would enjoy this story. There are guns and stuff but I don't think the'd appreciate the first 200 pages. What is the moral of the story? Candy is not always as sweet as it tastes.